Ok, I play a Bard. That is an innkeeper. That is a whore.
But I play a bard. why? because I love to sing.
I play an innkeeper. why? because I love to take care of people and make evil and cunning plans to have even more money without needing to fight.
I play a whore. why? because I have no shame whatsoever.
The thing is, contrary to what it seems like, I have no confidence in my skills.
I think that my voice is horrible.
I don't really like my own cooking and invent recipes on the fly.
I am the shyest person ever, I don't care about making a fool of myself, as long as no one else is involved. I don't want people to be fools. That and I don't trust people to believing the "it's only a game" part.
Oh and like any person, I don't think that I am attractive.
Ok, useless ranting but I have horrible hair that cannot be tamed, only detained in a tight braid; I have a horrible acne problem that makes me look like I'm 12 and I have an anoying personality!
I know that I have an annoying personality! I've always had it. And then people tell me I'm annoying!
I KNOW!
So yeah, back to the main subject.
I play a jaded bard whore... yet I must resist telling people to shut up when they compliment my voice or my looks because I disagree.
What is pretty in a badly proportionned zit-faced freak like me? What is melodic in a broken squealy voice like mine? What is good in the randomly tossed together produce that ends up looking like a brown goop (It often looks like I'm a bone-gnawer who used the gift "cooking")?
I just don't understand....
We are our own worst critic, it's not because you think you're not pretty (beauty is in the eye of the beholder) or that you can't sing or cook that people can disagree. Either they say that to be nice or they genuinely believe it, in both case, it's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteunderstand yourself and you will understand others.
ReplyDelete*chuckles* I know the feeling... I say just go for it! Point of playing is to be somone you don't think you can be irl, right? Or well... not that I'm saying you should be selfconcious about your voice, looks and cookingskills... bah... getting it all wrong.. should have stuck with have fun! ;P
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